Stab-wounds and the Pain of Sin

Just over 24 hours ago I was sitting in my family's living room, clutching my elbow as blood smeared on my hand and tears streamed down my face.

Graphic, I know, but it was real.

I had been putting dishes away in the cupboard above our counter, upon which a large knife was sitting in a container, oh-so-not-conveniently pointing upwards. I finished up with the dishes above the counter and as I returned for more dishes my elbow collided with the sharpest knife in our Cutco collection and that was that.

I looked at the knife after the incident and was happy to find no blood on the blade, but rather a residue from the inside of my skin that reached just over half an inch deep on the knife. That sharp point had protruded half an inch into the soft spot of the back of my elbow, at the base of my upper arm. No wonder there were so many tears and constant repititions of "Ouch that really hurt, wow that hurt so bad, it's really hurting" - as if I needed to remind myself of the pain that I was already feeling.

I was home alone and quite frankly a bit scared to assess how bad the wound was, but as I started calming down my sisters returned home from school. Upon greeting me with cheery smiles and "How was your day?"s, they immediately noticed my tear-stained face and awkward elbow-holding position, and that was that. Before I could think, the oldest of the two, Ashleigh, had a cold, wet cloth on my lap for me to hold up to the wound to stop the bleeding, and had the disinfectant in hand, ready to apply. One of the sweetest, most special moments in my life was when Ashleigh turned to my crying face and quietly asked me, "Do you want to say a prayer?" recognizing that no matter what we did, Heavenly Father was the one we really wanted to be relying on for help here. Natalie was summoned and we all bowed our heads, Ashleigh praying for me to heal. It was a beautiful moment that I'm so grateful for. (By the way Ashleigh, I stand by what I said about you making a great nurse.)

Looking back, I realize that this experience could have been far worse than it was. But it was SUCH a painful experience. And not to mention frightening. I had no idea how deep the wound was, or even the details of what had happened. I wasn't even aware of how bad the bleeding was until I noticed that my hand was moist ("My tears can't have made it all the way to my hand..." and then seeing the red smears). It was unpleasant and something that I've never experienced before, and I hope I don't have to experience it again. No thank you.

My youngest sister, who is still primary school age at her school, made a very important connection yesterday. She said:

"Kathleen, that knife stabbed your elbow yesterday, and that really hurt. Just like sin hurts. Sin is a painful thing and it's not good for us."

Out of the mouth of babes.

What a powerful lesson that was to me, as simple as it was. Sin. hurts. It hurts SO much. It is a scary thing: sometimes we aren't even aware of the gravity of our sins until we begin exposing them to the light. And repentance - man, that is a hard journey that we all need to face at some point in our lives. We all sin. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. And so we can all relate to the message that my sister shared with me yesterday: "Sin hurts. It is a painful thing and it's not good for us."

Sometimes we are fortunate enough to recognize the pain that sin causes and quickly retract. Disinfectant and medication are applied, sometimes stitches are necessary, and a bandaid is applied. We recognize the pain that the sin caused us and so we do all that we can to avoid further encounters that would cause us the same discomfort.

But sometimes sin comes as a "favourite addiction," or a "hard-to-forget pleasure" that we cannot seem to let go of. We let it go for a time but then it comes back again and we give in. Sin hurts the first time, second time, third.... but after a while we become desensitized to the pain. We forget that it not only hurts us, but it is also damaging to our spirit in the same way that reopening the wound from that steak knife yesterday would damage my body. When we heal the first time, we are left with a scar to remind us of what happened so we can do all we can to avoid the same thing happening again. That scar is one of the strongest places on our body.

Think about it.

When a wound is healing, the skin gradually forms a bond between the two sides of the cut or split to close the gash. This process involves the criss-crossing of many layers of skin which, when completed, will consequently be firmly attached and constructed. This is the goal throughout the repentance process, as well as the healing process after we injure ourselves. If we can come out of an injury or sin stronger, then we have done the right thing. The Lord promises us that He can make our weaknesses our strengths, but that takes some serious work on our part. It is no easy task, but the answer is simple: look to God, and never, EVER take your eyes off of Him.

However, if we were to keep reopening that wound and inflicting the same (or similar) injuries to it, especially before it has had a full chance to heal, we are only causing further damage to our bodies, and in the case of repentance, to our spirits. That is perhaps the very reason we are taught that as we repent we should remove ourselves from all situations in which temptation may occur for us to commit the same sin(s) as before. We are healing. We are vulnerable. Stronger than before, but still vulnerable. And it is so important for us to keep ourselves safe from that flaxen cord which binds us. How little does it take for us to be lead slowly down by the evil one. Don't fall for his tricks.

Whatever the case is, there is always somebody there who is willing to help us, just as Ashleigh was. Somebody who is willing to supply us with the tools we need to cleanse our wounds and begin the healing process. We cannot always do it on our own, especially with the bigger wounds. Your Bishop, trusted family and friends... they can all help us. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Turn to them for the help you need. They love you and want to see you heal.

Long story short, Heavenly Father loves you. He loves each and every one of us, and He wants us all to come home to Him. He does not expect us to be perfect in this life, but He does expect us to put in work. We would do so well to remember that He has not ever given us a commandment that is meant to restrict us or bind us down. Rather, He gives us laws and commandments to protect us and to offer us a freedom greater than any of the pleasure that momentary self-indulgences will cough up. Remember that sin hurts, it is a painful thing, and it is not good for us. But remember that God loves you so much and wants you back with Him. He is with you every step of the way:

Fear not, I am with thee,

Oh be not dismayed:

For I am thy God,

And will still give thee aid.

I'll comfort thee, help thee

and cause thee to stand.

Upheld by my righteous,

Upheld by my righteous,

Upheld by my righteous

Omnipotent hand.

Love,

Kat

"What I Wish I Had Known Before I .....Didn't Even Leave On My Mission" List

As I have been preparing for my mission in Ukraine L'viv, I have been utilizing social media tools such as Blogger (both here on my own blog as well as other missionaries' blogs), Pinterest (ohhhhhhh Pinterest how I do love you xoxoxo <3), Facebook ("Many are called..... but few are sisters" - 'nuf said), and so on.

And one of the most beautiful creations in this world of Pre-Mish Preparations is the RM-written "What I Wish I Had Known Before I Left On My Mission" lists. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, YOU PRECIOUS SOULS.

I have found what feels like an ABUNDANCE of these glorious lists, and I have decided to buckle down and merge these suckas.

Here is the current (and ever evolving/growing/improving) "What I Wish I Had Known Before I .....Didn't Even Leave On My Mission" List. I hope this somehow helps your blessed little self (because it's helping me)!!!!

What I Wish I Had Known Before I ... Didn't Even Leave On My Mission

• Study from Preach My Gospel. You will be using this ALL. THE. TIME. The more you learn before you hit the MTC, the better off you'll be. Remember: hit the ground running, not crawling. That's the goal for when you arrive at the MTC. Do all you can to prepare now :)
• READ THE BOOK OF MORMON. AND THE BIBLE, DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS AND PEARL OF GREAT PRICE. READ UP. At least once all the way through before you leave! If you've already read it, read it again. And once you finish it, start it over again. KEEP READING. This is the Book that sets us apart from ALL OTHER FAITHS, Christian or not. You don't have to know it all, but opening up The Book of Mormon and all other scriptures (Bible, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price), you will be blessed with a far greater understanding than you would be if you let these precious gems collect dust on your shelf.
• Don't delay going through the Temple. Don't rush it, but don't put it off. Remember that you may want to go through at least once or twice more after your first time before leaving on your mish.
• Take Temple Prep classes, and enroll as soon as you can. (Talk to your Bishop about how to do that - it's simple.) This is a 7-lesson course that The Church offers to help prepare you for the Temple. It's a review of basic doctrine but you will have an opportunity to ask questions about the Temple. :) DEFINITELY worth it. :)
• Take the Mission Prep course! (Also ask your Bishop for details on this one..... on anything, actually.) In my Stake it was a 3-class course that was spread out over many months (less than a year). I'm not sure if it's this way in every Stake/District, but we were able to select a mentor (aka: a returned missionary in our ward who would be able to help us to go through the course and complete our assignments, and who would attend the 3 meetings with us). The meetings gave us an opportunity to ask questions and learn more about the important details of a mission - including things like loving your companion.
• GET YOUR PASSPORT ASAP. Don't wait until you get your call, don't wait until the last minute before you have to submit your visa, don't..... don't wait. At all. Just get it over with my friends! For real. It will save you SO much stress to just get it over with and not have to worry about it. Also, the process can sometimes be lengthy (not always) so it's better to be safe than sorry.
• Get in shape now, and if you are in shape, STAY IN SHAPE. Exercise for half an hour daily. Walk when you can avoid taking the car. You will be able to focus far better as you prepare and you will be more accustomed to the exercising once you report if you begin now. If you wish to take up the amazing sport of running or biking, etc, there are week-by-week programs that you can find online to help you get started. My go-to running program is C25K, which you can find here.
• Organize your brilliant mission ideas and the ideas you discover in an easy-to-understand way. I have done this on my Pinterest account (see my Mission Prep boards here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here). This will make it FAR easier to access these ideas when you want to, instead of having to rummage through piles of unorganized mess. Trust me, you will thank yourself later.
• Collect your favourite inspirational quotes and a few of your favourite General Conference addresses. Put them together to take with you. You'll want the encouragement when you are out there. Remember that you won't be able to just hop online to search for your favourite uplifting things when you're feeling down the same way you can now. You won't have the same uplifting friends around you, and sometimes your companions may not be the most positive. You need to be able to spiritually nourish yourself without relying solely on others to do it for you. :)
• Figure out an effective note-taking system for yourself. It will be easier to take notes during meetings and conferences if you have an effective way of recording your promptings, thoughts and feelings on the spot, and will save you the feeling of being unorganized (both in the moment and later on when you want to refer to those notes).
• Collect other people's addresses. And collect them now. Don't wait 'til you get out on your mission to start asking for people's postal codes and email addresses. Get them now. And don't expect them to write you first - they may not. Your family should be your top writing priority but you never know when you may feel prompted to write someone else - and how much easier that would be if you had their address already.

Further reading: http://www.bellainberlin.blogspot.ca/2013/01/i-wish-i-wouldve-known.html

http://kelciemykell.wordpress.com/2013/06/29/my-advice/

Luv me some Lindsey Stirling musica

For those of you who may not be aware...

There are a LOT of cool Mormons out there. A LOT OF 'EM.

(And no, I'm not just talking about myself. Although, let's be serious....)

(I kid.)

When you visit the website that The Church of Jesus Christ has created to help those who are looking for answers to their questions about Mormonism (that's Mormon.org, and you can find it here), you'll find so many special gems: of testimony, doctrine, and even awesome videos about some of the world's favourite Mormons. One of my favourites of these videos is of the sweet but sassy violinist, Miss Lindsey Stirling. Her music is the perfect example of what it means to truly express yourself, and I have to say that I don't know that I've ever seen something quite like it.

As we know, "amazing talent" usually means "phenomenal story/trials." And Lindsey Stirling is, yet again, another inspirational example of that in her strength and power to overcome.

Today I revisited that video, and I want to share it here with you too.

Enjoy. :)

Some of my favourite moments: 

"Any time there's a change to be made, you have to realize that there's somewhere else that you want to be. And I wanted ... to be happy. That's far more important than being the skinniest girl in the room."

"The only thing that actually lasts is those core beliefs that I have worth, and for me that comes from knowing that I am a daughter of God." (AMEN SISTA.)

Love,
Kat :)

I love to see the temple, I'll go inside some day :)

HAPPY NEWS :)

Today I had my first interview required to receive my Temple Endowments! In case you are not already aware, receiving your Endowments is a requirement for missionary service in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. SO THIS IS A HUGE DEAL!

Your first interview is with your Bishop (in my case a Branch President - small town hehe), and your second interview is with your Stake President. I was SO excited to have my interview tonight and walk out of it with my Temple Recommend in hand! How wonderful it is to be worthy and preparing for something so significant not only in this life, but far more importantly in the eternities. I know that preparing to enter the House of the Lord has and will continue to bless my life immensely, and in ways that I both recognize and can't even see yet. The Lord loves us all and wants us to return home to Him. He is willing to help us if we will only do our part, and I'm excited to be taking this step in my efforts to do my part of the equation!

One quote to finish this entry off:

"He didn't say it would be easy... He said it would be worth it."

AMEN. Nothing that is worth it is ever easy. But you can do it. Rely on the Lord and you will be blessed.

So excited to enter here soon and do this! :D

Sincerely,
A SUPER HAPPY KATHLEEN :-)))))))

The Nephite Sermon on the Mount x Livin' Now x Anxiety

Today my family and I travelled to my sisters' dentist appointments and while I waited for them to finish up, I pulled up my Gospel Library app on my phone (check out how you can get it on your device here) and continued my reading of The Book of Mormon. I was reading in 3 Nephi 14 when I came across one particular verse that stood out to me today, and I want to share it here.

3 Nephi 13:34 reads: "Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof."

This. verse.

IT SUDDENLY MEANS SO MUCH MORE TO ME!

I mean, it was important before but NOW! Now the meaning is so much greater than it was before.

As you may know, I have been struggling with some anxiety throughout the past couple of months in particular and I have been trying to overcome it by focusing on relaxing and keeping important details in order. That is great, and believe me, it really does help.

BUT. Anxiety is........ it is fear. Often times feelings of anxiety can be linked back to an impossible desire to control future events, and being unsure of what may happen as well as feeling out of control of specific circumstances.

Anxiety is honestly one of the scariest things I have experienced. So. scary. How many times have I had to tell my heart to calm down before it beats out of my chest? How many times do I have to remind myself I am okay when I realize that I've been shaking and my thoughts are racing through my mind? How many nights have I cried and cried and cried over things that I already knew would somehow work out? That is anxiety. And what is worse is that I can recognize when there is really no reason to feel anxiety, but the feeling is still there. It is a very. real. struggle.

SO TODAY. I rediscovered 3 Nephi 13:34, which holds the answer to overcoming anxiety. It seems so easy, but..... really, it is simple. Not easy. Simple. "Take therefore no thought for the morrow." In other words, stop worrying about tomorrow. Live today because this is the only day you really have. "...For the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself." You can take care of tomorrow... tomorrow. Really and truly, you can. And lastly, "...sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof." You honestly have enough on your plate TODAY to even begin to start worrying about TOMORROW's problems too. Let it go and be at peace.

I am so grateful that every time I read The Book of Mormon with a prayerful attitude, Heavenly Father blesses me with insights that help me with these important details in my life.

No matter how small you may feel your trials are, or how insignificant you may sometimes feel, I want you to know that your Father in Heaven loves you SO much, and cares about ALL of you - every little detail of your life (even the details you don't realize are there). He is present in absolutely every detail of your life - whether they seem significant to you or not. Pray to Him and you will be amazed. I promise. He never lets you down.

Sincerely,
Kathleen :)

P.S. To learn more about how The Book of Mormon can help you in YOUR life, visit www.Mormon.org, or click here for further details about this second witness of Jesus Christ and chat real-time with missionaries (the chat window at the side of the page). I promise you, this book is the real deal. It has changed my life and I know it can change yours too. :)

Muy Bueno. Elder Holland's at it again

Let's just say that this video is exactly what I needed right now.

Enjoy. xo

"Trust God, and believe in good things to come." -Elder Holland

Love,

     Kat

C-a-l-l-i-n-g now, I'm calling you-ooooo-ooo, calling you now-ow

(The title of this post is from a really cheesey Aqua song that my sister used to listen to when I was  a kid. And it fits. Sort of. That line does, any ways. Because..... *drum roll*)

ON SUNDAY, I was officially called as a Sunday School teacher for the Adult Sunday School class! Holla, I'm so excited! I stood up in Sacrament meeting this past Sunday as they called my name out and extended my call in front of the congregation. When they asked for everyone to show their sustaining vote, all of my Branch Family raised their right hands in unison to show that they will support me in this calling. Then the opposite was asked - is there anyone who feels that this is not right? Nobody raised their hands, and I could be seated.

How pleasant was it to then sit through an entire Sacrament meeting centred around what had just happened! This past Sunday was a special Church service. Stake Auxiliaries were visiting, and so we were able to hear from Brother del Mundo, the Kitchener Stake  Young Men's president, Sister Cattran, the Stake Relief Society President, and then from Brother Doug Brown, who always comes to Woodstock to conduct Stake Business. Brother del Mundo spoke of the importance of callings - and stressed through a personal example that a calling is important, no matter how big or small it is, yes, but ALSO that no matter how big or small your calling is, we should always put in our best efforts. He shared an experience from when he was a fairly new member of The Church. He was assigned a calling in which he could help in a way that some may feel was insignificant. One day the man whom he reported to asked Brother del Mundo to collect sticks for a certain, greater task that they would later perform. He did just that, and when the man asked to see the pile that Ferdie had collected, he was SO shocked to discover the pile was massive. He was impressed with the effort that Brother Ferdie del Mundo had put into this task, however small and insignificant it may have seemed. After his talk, both speakers followed up with messages that really invited the Spirit into the meeting. After having missed Church the Sunday before because we were heading off for a week-long family vacation and were all POOPED and didn't make it up in enough time before departing, it was so wonderful to be back in our chapel and participating in the ordinance that is the Sacrament. What a powerful, spiritual experience that Sacrament was for me. :)

ANY WHO, long story short I was called as a Sunday School teacher for the adults and am SO excited. I know that we are extended callings for a reason, each one for its own reason, and so that is why I always get excited when a new calling is extended to me. It makes me happy to see what wonderful things will come from serving the Lord! It's not always easy, but it's worth it to put in our best efforts. :)

Work hard,
Kat

"Always In The Middle," by Pres. Uchtdorf

As a part of my spiritual preparation for my mish, I have decided that I want to take at least a few talks or addresses with me on my mission to help to strengthen me while I am at the MTC and in the field. There are collections and compilations online of "The Top 6 General Conference Addresses for Missionaries," and "Must-Read Talks to Send To Your Missionary," and so on. Today I found one talk that was recommended which is called "Always in the Middle." It was given by Pres. Uchtdorf (the Second Counsellor in the First Presidency) July 2012. (I remember hearing this talk for the first time.)

I am posting it here so that I can always remember it. (Also if I just post the link you may not actually go to check it out, so this way you have no excuse. haha BUT if you want additional resources to go along with your talk, you can read it here.)

Uh. Overwhelmed.

Just a quick sidenote (and something to remind myself of in case I ever forget): the Internet is filled with INNUMERABLE RESOURCES for a young lady preparing for a mission abroad. There are SO. MANY. Pinterest boards, blog posts, photo ideas, Deseret News articles, talks, and so on that can take up a ridiculously huge amount of your time. (Trust me, I have spent hours reading up on missionary tips and writing ideas just today alone. There is SO. MUCH. OF IT.)

This is awesome. I am not denying that at all. In fact, the majority of what I have found so far is brilliant and creative, and I am in no way ungrateful for the wonderful ideas and tidbits of advice that I've found throughout the past few months.

But. My point here. Let's get to that.

THERE IS SO MUCH STUFF...

THAT IT'S EASY TO GET LOST IN IT ALL.

It's as with anything - if you come at it haphazardly, you're probably not going to get much out of it.

So. My advice here is this. Don't do what I did and search up something hugely ambiguous on Pinterest and hope for the best. (Maybe the first time that's okay. But then start to narrow down your searches.) Take time to look up Sister Missionary Hair Ideas for a bit, and then switch it up and look up Ideas for How to Mark Your Scriptures. You may notice that on social media sites (I'm thinking especially of Pinterest right now), some people tend to group all of their mission preparations together. This is..... this is easy to do, and takes minimal effort to put together. But when it comes time to actually go back to your ideas and make something of them, you're going to want them to be organized.

How else can you combat this, then?

AS YOU FIND IDEAS, immediately put them into their proper places. Have a folder on your computer and a matching tangible file folder (not on the computer) to file away your ideas in. I saw one Sister preparing for a mission who carried a little notebook with her everywhere she went so that she could write down her ideas in it. Always be prepared to write down your ideas, no matter where you are - you never know when inspiration will come (and those inspired ideas are some of the best)!

Most importantly, focus on what is most important. You do not need to be stressed out about your mission preparations - remember to stay true to who you are when you're shopping for clothing, but within the mission rules. Find quotes that inspire you and put them all into a notebook to take with you. Write letters for your fam to leave behind or send them early on in your mission to inspire them and offer them comfort when they miss you (they look up to you :)). Ask your family members, family friends and close buddies, as well as members from your ward who you look up to to pass on their favourite recipes that you'd be able to make on your mission and take your own homemade cookbook with you. Make sure you're having fun as you prepare - this is not something to stress out about, this is something to GET EXCITED about. :D Remember that, and things will work out much better. :)

Keep it cool ladies and gents,
Kat

Elder Hollaaaaaaaa(nd)

Okay seriously. One of my favourite General Authorities is definitely Elder Holland. I just want to get that out there right here and right now. They have all spoken to me at different times of my life and in different ways - I've learned different lessons from their talks and addresses and have been able to apply their teachings to my life and feel inspired by their counsel at different times, don't get me wrong.

But like.

Elder Holland. Is a beast.

I find it so easy to relate to what he is saying because he speaks with so much honesty and in such a blunt manner that there is no way that you could ever walk away confused by what he said. He is filled with the Spirit and I appreciate the effort that he puts into preparing the words he shares at General Conference and in all of his other addresses/articles.

I am a member of a GINORMOUS Facebook group for Sister missionaries (preparing/serving/returned) and their moms, called "Many are called...... but few are sisters." If you don't know what this group is then you need to go and search it up immediately. (Here is a link to the group page in case you can't find it. Send in a request to join and voila. You are on your way to some seriously rad times.) This group is fantastic because it is strictly for sisters, so all things "girl" can be discussed. It is used as both a way to share lessons learned, to ask for advice - for physical, mental, emotional and especially spiritual situations, offer encouragement, share tips about packing and even where and how to buy the right clothing, and almost whatever else you can think of that would be appropriate for a group like that. There are over 11 000 sisters currently on the page, and I have found it to be an amazing resource as I have been preparing for my mission. If you are already returned home from your mission, feel free to join the group too: we need all the help we can get, trust me! I'm sure you remember those days.

SO. Today as I was scrolling through some Facebook posts, I found an article that a sister had posted on the wall of the "Many are called" group. The title was "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence," which struck my interest, and plus ......it was a talk by Elder Holland which especially got my attention. So there I was reading this article.

CAN I JUST SAY THAT FOR GOODNESS SAKE, I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED READING IT AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

It offers amazing counsel for those who are preparing to serve missions, as well as anyone who is making any decisions in their life, whether they be big or small.

I recommend it. For real. Please take a moment to read it and let it all soak into the depths of your soul. You can read it here. Inhale, exhale. It is too good.

As a closing thought, here is one of my favourite quotes from his speech:

Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. You can find an apartment. You can win over your mother-in-law. You can sell your harmonica and therein fund one more meal. It’s been done before. Don’t give in. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. “Cast not away therefore your confidence.” Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.

Stay strong, friends.

Love,

Kat

What is this "Mish Prep" thing any ways??

Seeing as I have started this blog as a way to help me prepare for my 18 month mission in Ukraine, I might as well outline what it is that must actually be done to ensure that I am prepared when the time comes for me to report.

What DO you have to do to prepare for you mission, any ways??
WELL, that is a very big question. Let me try to answer it with all of my mighty wisdom and knowledge. .....*cough*

First comes the decision to serve. Maybe you are a convert to the Church and you desire to help someone in the same way that you were helped, or perhaps you have had a life-changing experience with the Atonement and feel a strong conviction to share it with others. Perhaps you were prompted through a phrase in your Patriarchal Blessing or your heard a talk that stirred some emotions deep inside and you began to feel that serving a mission was the right thing for you to do. Not everyone will serve a mission, but if you have been prompted to serve or look into the process, then don't hesitate to do so. The blessings I have received since I started preparing have been immense, and I haven't even been set apart yet! It's amazing.

Eventually you will begin the process of completing your mission papers. This generally begins with you expressing your desire to serve to your Bishop or Branch President, after which he will be able to allow you access to the online Missionary Portal. This is a portion of the lds.org website which is only accessible to missionaries. There is a section on the website where you can access your mission papers, which are really just a collection of forms that must be filled out entirely before you submit. Some of these forms will need to be printed as you will need to take them to your doctor or dentist and have them filled out, while others, such as the Personal Information form, can be filled out strictly on the computer. As you strive to complete each form, an icon telling each form's status will appear beside it: hasn't been started, in the process of completing, completed. When you have completed all of your forms you click the button at the bottom of the page to submit your papers to your Bishop or Branch President. You then schedule an appointment with your Bishop/BP, in which he will review your mission papers and if he sees that all is in order, he will submit your paperwork to your Stake President. You then schedule an appointment to meet with your Stake Pres and he will give you advice for preparing for your mission (mine gave me specific counsel regarding self-image and what scriptures to read and so on), and will ask you about how you are preparing physically, mentally and emotionally, as well as spiritually for your mission. If you are worthy to serve, he will submit your papers to Salt Lake City within a few days of your meeting.

Your paperwork will arrive in Salt Lake City, be reviewed, and your call will be assigned. Depending on where you live, your call could arrive within a week of being assigned, or, if you're like me and you live in Canada (or any where "International"), your call could arrive as late as 3 weeks after being assigned, or later. My call arrived a day or so after we expected it to arrive, because it was around Christmastime and New Year's, so the post was quite the busy business. However, it still came within about 3 weeks and when it did, I opened it with my family around me. (How you decide to open your call is totally up to you, by the way - you might decide to open it alone, or with many people around you. Just remember that your call is a sacred thing, and should be treated as such. Get excited!)

When you receive your call letter, you will also receive a booklet with specific instructions regarding the next steps in your mission preparation. Some of these steps will be specific to your own mission, but some are also universal. For example, you will be asked to log onto the Missionary Portal (missionary.lds.org) to track your preparation progress. On the Portal there will be instructions specific to you. You will be asked to read the White Handbook (which contains all of the general missionary rules and guidelines), watch 6 specific episodes of The District, create a Mormon.org account, and so on. You will also be required to complete your immunizations (don't worry - you receive this information when you receive your call), and YOU WILL NEED TO WRITE YOUR ACCEPTANCE LETTER ASAP. You will be asked to write it online so feel free to do that. As long as you act quickly and promptly upon receiving your call, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

All of this is very fine and dandy.

But it is also very 'check-list-y' and 'to-do-ish.' What you're not seeing is the spiritual side of things.

I'm going to be totally blunt here. PREPARING FOR A MISSION IS NOT EASY.

If you find that it is easy, then you are probably doing something wrong. Or, as they say, "Wait for it." I don't say this to instill any sort of fear in you, or to scare you away from the idea of serving a mission. No, rather, I say this as a sort of clarification. Before I received my call, I would get excited about a friend's mission call, hearing about other people's mission stories, and learning of the progress of those who I cared about who were in the field. However, now that I have been through the mission paper application process, and have had my call for about 2 months, when I witness a mission call opening, the experience has so much more meaning for me. And honestly, it's because even though I may not know exactly what my fellow future missionaries have faced in order to make it to the point where they are opening a mission call, I can take a good guess. Because all of us who are preparing have been or will be there to some extent. Our trials are definitely personalised, but to think that you're alone in them is believing exactly what Satan would have you believe. And it's wrong. You. are. never. alone. EVER.

 (to be continued)

"Let's Start At The Very Beginning"

"......a very good place to staaaaAaaAAaaart."

Today is February 24, 2014. This day is a very big day for many reasons, one of which is the fact that February 24, 2014 will only ever occur once. EVER. So that's kind of huge.

But, it is also my 86th last day before I report to the Provo MTC. Annnnnd, that's a big deal. Not because the number 86 holds any significant meaning for me (it really doesn't, in all honesty), but rather because....... this is the only "86th Last Day Before I Enter the MTC" day I'll probably ever have. Suddenly every day becomes significant when you think of it that way, eh.

On a totally different note, I'd like to take you for a ride in my time machine. *you hop in* I'm just going to turn this dial here until it reaches, oh, I don't know, 2009? That's probably a good place to start.

A quick intro, however: I was raised in a Mormon family. My father was raised in a Mormon family as well, his parents being converts to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (Random fact: my father was named after President David O. MacKay.) My mother joined The Church not long after discovering it, and now here we are, a happy family. From the time that I was a little girl, I think that the thought of a mission was on my mind. I wanted to serve because I knew that it was a good thing, and I wanted to be a missionary. Those feelings only became more and more convicted and strong as I got older.

*time machine starts humming*
*the world around you is spinning*
*everything goes black for a second*
*a hand hits the wall of the machine, and the lights flicker back to life*

"......Sorry, our power sometimes goes out as we travel. It's just a little ting. We've.. we've learned to deal with it."

ARRIVAL: 2009 A.D.
Here we are, in the fabulous year of 2009. At this point in my life I was leaving the world of elementary school and entering into a new realm of existence: h i g h  s c h o o l. Growing up, I spent many of my years in the LDS Primary and Youth programs (ages toddler-11, and 12-19 respectively) with a dear friend by the name of Natasha. We went to each other's birthday parties and knew each other's families better than we probably even understood. The two of us are so very different in so many ways, but the Big Guy knew that it would be important for us to be present in one another's lives, and so we were. In fact, for many years, it was just the two of us in the female portion of the LDS Youth Program that existed in our Branch. We got to know each other very well throughout those years, and she became like a sister to me, experiencing things with me in a silence of understanding. We didn't need words. She's a special kind of friend. Though this friendship extends to FAR before 2009, it is important here too.

Usually the topic of missions would come up something like this: at a youth conference (probably Best of EFY). We're billeting together at a member's home - of course we were billeting together, are you joking?? We talk about all of the cute boys we met at the dance. Actually, scratch that. I talk about the cute boys, she laughs and somehow manages to get off without saying much. Sneaky girl. We laugh about a joke we've had for a while now: The Forbidden Question. "Those boys better not ask ...... *JAWS theme song* ..... THE FORBIDDEN QUESTION!" *unnecessarily ridiculous girlish giggling* 

........ Ask me what the forbidden question was. I dare you.
Uh, okay. Kathleen, what is the forbidden question?

"Will you marry me?"

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we understand the important role that a mission plays in the life of the young man or young woman (or senior couple) that serves. Young men are strongly encouraged to serve because they are needed to further the Lord's work here on the earth today. When they return home they are encouraged to marry in the Temple and raise a family in the gospel. Their mission will help them to be the best husbands and fathers that they can be. Young women are also welcomed into missionary service, and boy do we ever gladly accept our calls to serve (holla atcho gurl). :) However, if the opportunity arises for a young woman to marry a worthy man in the Temple, and she feels as though it would be the right decision to marry him, and he has already served his mission and so on and so forth, she is encouraged to pursue her role as a wife and a mother, allowing that to take presidence over her role as a full-time missionary. Natasha and I jokingly feared that our own personal opportunities to be married would come up before we turned 21-years-of-age and were finally able to serve missions, and so from a young age we joked about avoiding marriage before our missions.

That all changed two Octobers ago, however, when the Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, announced an age-change. Young men and young women were now given the opportunity to serve at younger ages: 18 and 19, respectively. This meant that I would be able to serve a mission at a younger age and then return home, attend post-secondary education, get a job, and somewhere in the mix of those things marry my best friend and raise a family in the gospel. Being able to leave at age 19 meant that I could still serve, but I could now serve earlier instead of whittling away my time or beginning my post-secondary education and then leaving partway through to serve a mission....... and the list goes on. Of course I could still serve at an older age, too, but serving younger worked better for me. This was wonderful news.

I knew that serving a mission was something that I wanted to do, but it took a lot of praying and talking with my Heavenly Father to receive that confirmation that it was what I was supposed to be doing. I always felt that serving a mission would be a good thing, but I wanted to know for sure that it was something that I was supposed to do. And here we are, about a year and a half after I received the answer to my prayers. My answer came in a Priesthood blessing, when I was told that Heavenly Father would support me in righteousness. So there you have it. Some of the essential background facts regarding my choice to serve a mission. VOILAAAAA!

I know that this is the restored gospel of Jesus Christ on the earth today. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints contains the fullness of the gospel. I'm so grateful to know that I have a loving Father in Heaven who hears and answers my prayers, and knows my heart inside-out and backwards. He understands me better than I understand myself, and He blesses me more than my little heart can even begin to fathom. I am happiest when I live the gospel and apply its teachings in my life, and THAT, my friends. THAT is why I want to serve a mission. Not because everyone else is doing it, not because I've just always wanted to. No. I want to serve a mission so that my spiritual brothers and sisters can receive the happiness that the gospel brings to our lives. I want them to find hope in the Atonement of their Elder Brother, our Saviour Jesus Christ. I want them to know that they can one day return to their Father in Heaven. I want to see them on the other side and embrace them as we prepare to enter the Celestial Kingdom. That. is why I have chosen to serve a mission.

Blog Post Numero Uno (Honestly What Should I Even Name This Post)

Why hello there, my fellow human being. I see you have found your way to my humble blog. Come on in, take a seat.

First of all, I would ask that you please take a moment to appreciate the name of this blog. "Girl, Ukrai." Let it sink in. It is excellent in every way. It makes me happy. I hope you appreciate it too.

LET'S GET SOME THINGS OUT OF THE WAY:

My name is Kathleen, I am 18-years-old, and I am preparing to serve a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I leave on May 21, 2014, and travel to Utah, where I will be trained for about 2 months in the way of missionary service, and also....... how to speak Ukrainian. Because, ya know, I'm not Ukrainian, and I honestly cannot say that I'm fluent in the language. So. That's slightly important.

From there I will find myself in L'viv, Ukraine, where I will serve for another 16 or so months. I return home to the Red and White in December of 2015, a stronger version of who I am today.

Kathleen, do tell: are you excited for this opportunity?
Well, you know. This is only kinda sorta a HUGE FREAKING DEAL. And, like, I've only really been wanting to serve a mission SINCE I WAS A WEE LASS. But like. Yeah. I guess you could say I'm excited. Sorta.

...........OF COURSE I'M EXCITED, ARE YOU KIDDING ME OR????

This blog is a way for me to record some of my numerous experiences as I prepare for this monumental part of my life. Hopefully you, my reader, will learn from my experiences or just laugh along with me in this crazy, ridiculously awesome adventure that I'm on. Or maybe it'll help you to fill the time as you wait for dinner to cook. Whatever, that's cool too.

"I'm going on an adventure!" Oh Bilbo. What a guy (hobbit).